Putting The Social Back In Social Media

By Sharon Mostyn | Published: February 9, 2010

Recently I attended Affiliate Summit West 2010 and although I met many, many wonderful people, it only takes one to ruin your opinion of “Twitter celebrities.” I have admired this person, who shall remain nameless, for quite some time for both their work online on Twitter and during presentations, but when I saw this person in the hallway by themselves and casually mentioned that I liked their presentation, the response was, “Like I’ve never heard that before…” Wow. Just wow. The only thing I could think to do was turn and walk away.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, I was multitasking last night, participating in both #blogchat and #journchat – two of my favorite Twitter chats (#blogchat is usually on Sundays but postponed a day because of the Superbowl). There were great topics on both, but I thought that the #blogchat topic of Music Marketing via Social Media would be something different. I didn’t know how different…about an hour into the chat we were joined by Curt Smith from Tears for Fears and his manager, Arlene Wszalek. They provided an artist’s and manager’s perspective on how to use social media to “normalize” fame. Curt was very down to earth, responsive, and definitely NOT a Twitter Snob. Although he proceeded to tell me what he had for dinner (inane Tweets being a personal following taboo that I had posted earlier in #blogchat) I’ll be following both Curt and Arlene to see what other insights they have to share.

That’s not to say that if I met them in a hallway outside a concert venue that I wouldn’t get the same blow-off given by the aforementioned “Twitter celebrity” but a girl can always hope that the social stays in social media, can’t she? Let me know if you agree (or disagree) that the social belongs in social media, both online and in real life, by posting a reply below!

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  • http://www.pet-health-care-gazette.com/ Lorie Huston

    What an awful experience! That type of response from any celebrity (twitter or otherwise) is totally unacceptable and inexcusable. And all too common in today’s society.

    In answer to your question: Yes, being social (both online and off) is, or should be, part of the SM culture. That’s why it’s called SOCIAL media in the first place. There’s another word for people on twitter and other social media who are not social. They’re called spammers :-)

    • http://sharonmostyn.com/ Sharon Mostyn

      Lorie – thanks for the “new” term for those who are on social media but aren’t social – I love it! :)

  • http://www.r2integrated.com Jody Stoehr

    Hi Sharon-
    I am shocked with the response from the Twitter celebrity and it speaks volumes to your character to keep this person nameless. You could of told this person that he/she just might not here that statement again if he/she keeps with the attitude. Nobody likes a cocky tweeter..:-)

    Thanks for your update on the Affiliate Summit.

    • http://sharonmostyn.com/ Sharon Mostyn

      Jody – Affiliate Summit was awesome! I would highly recommend it for anyone even remotely involved in affiliate marketing – after all, affiliates need consulting services, email, web design, etc., too! Use your imagination and find a way to work with these amazing entrepreneurs! Like I said in my post, because of all the good people who were at the conference, it made that “one bad apple” stand out all the more…guess now I’ll have to write a post on all the good people I met (but it would be a VERY long post)!

  • http://www.wilsonellisconsulting.com/wordpress Debra Ellis

    Sharon,

    I can’t imagine that someone would do that to you. It is a poor example for anyone participating (or thinking about it) in the social media channel. The good news is that people who have self-inflated egos often deflate in the most spectacular way.

    • http://sharonmostyn.com/ Sharon Mostyn

      Debra – I appreciate the thought (hope?) that there is some form of social media karma out there. I also like to hope that they might read a post like this and reconsider their actions going forward. Kind of a reverse “You’re So Vain” in action?

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  • http://dwesterberg.wordpress.com/ Dawn Westerberg

    I would have done the same thing. Bad manners fluster me. 6 months later, I’d think of the perfect comeback – not hysterical, not a string of expletives and be angry with myself for not thinking it up at the time – but in the moment I would find myself helpless. Then 12 months later, I would be thankful for the encounter, not stewing over a clever comeback – but thankful because I saw the real thing, I was no longer operating under an illusion about the person.

    Sometimes what authenticity reveals isn’t pretty. But at least we’re no longer duped by the You’re So Vain types, and know better than to invest anything further there.

    It was an utterly stupid and self-indulged moment for this person – because being nice doesn’t cost anything, and being a jerk can cost you a lot.

    • http://sharonmostyn.com/ Sharon Mostyn

      Thanks, Dawn, glad it wasn’t just me that was flustered and left without a comment. I was so pleased when I saw the other end of the social spectrum with Curt Smith’s easy integration into the conversation that it helped restore my faith in social media humanity.

  • http://www.marketlikeachick.com Coree Silvera

    Wow…that is absolutely horrible that someone would act that way after receiving a compliment. I’m so sorry you had to experience that!

    I remember when I went to Blogworld, it was my first live event and I was soooo nervous to go up and introduce myself to all the well known people in the industry. I actually Tweeted about what a chicken I was to say hi to a favorite marketer/blogger of mine, David Risley. He saw the tweet and replied telling me to come on over. When I saw the tweet I was actually sitting 3 chairs down from him in a session & could see him looking around for me. He was the sweetest and most real person I could have asked for to help me break the ice!

    THAT is social media in action. You’re the same to everyone across the board, online or off, 50 followers or 50k followers, $50 per month or $50k…we are here to get to know each other…not just for everyone get to know Y-O-U.

    Thanks for mentioning the Twitter Snob article. I really was just venting, but it looks like there were lots of people that needed to vent too! :)

    • http://sharonmostyn.com/ Sharon Mostyn

      Thanks for sharing your experience, Coree! I’m glad that David Risley turned out to be a great social marketer online and off! I got such a kick out of your Twiiter Snob article because it described exactly how I felt but could never really put into words, so I was happy to include it in my post.

  • Karima-Catherine

    Hi Sharon
    I have the pleasure to meet you every Sunday at blogchat and I am amazed at how in sync we are on this particular topic. I have worked in the movie business and I can tell you that Social media has its lot of inflated egos. I totally agree with some of the comments about this so-called Twitter celeb being so innapropriate. I was raised to say Thank you when someone gives you a compliment. But as I say, the ones we call celeb, rockstars,..sometimes are dumbfounded by their fame an some don’t even know why they deserve such recognition so they lose it.

    Thanks again for being so honest about your thoughts and feelings.
    Karimacarherine

    • http://sharonmostyn.com/ Sharon Mostyn

      Thank you, Karima-Catherine. It is great to chat with you on #blogchat and I was so happy to see your kind comment. I have worked on television and radio commercials with national celebrities and only once in 20+ years have I come across a situation like this (a sports celebrity) – the vast majority of those that I met were more like Curt Smith who joined us on #blogchat on Sunday, and seem to take their popularity in stride.

  • http://ExciteSocialMedia.com Gabriel Carrejo

    You should call them out! Such crap. In the grand scheme of things 95% of the world doesn’t know this so-called “twit-celeb” (“twit” seems fitting). There sense of self-entitlement is embarrassing.

    If social media is about connecting, being authentic, etc., they are obviously not doing so.

    I still believe there’s no substitute for the real thing. It’s easy to hide behind a keyboard and a DSL line. That’s why tweetups, etc are so great. (Shameless plug for Silicon Valley Tweetup!)

    Keep up the good work!

    • http://sharonmostyn.com/ Sharon Mostyn

      I agree that there’s no substitute for live social interaction, Gabriel, and wish I could join you at the Silicon Valley Tweetup. I think Tweetups are a great way to get out from behind they keyboard and polish your in-person social skills! Unfortunately, Silicon Valley is a bit out of my travel range right now, but would it be ok if I got in touch if I’m ever in the area?

  • james

    Some celebrities are still learning all their actions might be reported?

    I recall past anecdotes of private celebrity run-ins, but they were limited to friends or “friends of friends” scope. Now I end up hearing from you and would be able to support you if I run into this celebrity, if you named him/her . . .

    • http://sharonmostyn.com/ Sharon Mostyn

      Thanks, James. I don’t believe than naming the person in my post would do anything – if they worried about what I (as someone who appreciated their presentation enough to let them know) had to say, they wouldn’t have behaved that way in the first place.

      I think the “moral of the story” is that with today’s social media impacting people further removed than friends or “friends of friends” it’s important for EVERYONE to behave as if their actions will be reported on/blogged about/Tweeted/posted on Facebook/etc. because more and more often they will!

  • http://worldsstrongestlibrarian.com/ Josh Hanagarne

    Very, very lame. Hats off to you for having the character not to lash out and name this weenie.

    • http://sharonmostyn.com/ Sharon Mostyn

      Thanks Josh, I appreciate your understanding.

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